Last night while I was on my drive home I received a call from a young lady who was distraught.  She was pregnant!  She has no help!  She wanted an abortion but couldn’t afford it!  Her life is in a mess!  She feels alone!  The father is physically abusive!  She’s angry!  She sees no hope!  The question of the two hour call was WHY ME?!  The anguish she felt flowed violently off her tongue and pierced my heart.

The short answer to that question is sin.  The story of this young lady is a common conversation with ladies I work with.  The messiness of life.  Dreams, hopes, aspirations that seem to not play out in the reality of life as we imagined in our minds.  Then the time comes we are face to face with deciding what our next step is, for her, will she parent OR will she make an adoption life plan?

But, haven’t we all been this young lady?  Maybe not in an unplanned pregnancy, but rather life in general.  Be it through devastating loss, broken families, shattered relationships, financial ruin, natural disasters, sickness, human injustices, and, well………we can fill in the blank with many life circumstances.  So how do we move forward?

ANSWER: Submitting to Christ and his Lordship in our lives.  In James 4, we are faced with the hard reality of our sinful flesh, kind of a tongue lashing about our sinfulness as James doesn’t mince words or thoughts about sin and our separation from Christ, but he gives a clear directive in verse 7 which states “Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

We live in a fallen world.  From the moment that sin entered the world we all have suffered from our sinful nature and sin around us.  I struggle with my flesh on a daily basis.  Sometimes the heartache and pain I’ve face has been so overwhelming, and not necessarily a direct cause of my own sin but sin around me.  As I was listening to this sweet girl spill her life story, I couldn’t but help reflect on those times when I’ve asked that very question…..Why Me Lord?

As a child of God, when I am faced with difficulties, my goal is to look at the promises in God’s word and cling tightly to his grace.  Sometimes I have to step back and count my blessings.  Look at all the ways God has worked his sovereign tapestry in my life.  When I look at the underside, it looks so messy, but what the finished product produces is a beautiful piece of art that His hands sewed together in my life.  By the way, needles hurt!  But they are essential in repairing what is ripped and torn.

For the young lady I spoke about earlier, God could be doing the work of grace through showing his love and grace through the tapestry of adoption.  My prayer for her is that she would come to know His love in a personal way and follow His sovereign plan for her life.  For me, when life is difficult and I am questioning God, may I remember who I am in comparison to who He is!

1 Peter 5:10

What has been your response in the midst of a “Why Me?” moment?

If you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy situation and you want to talk about if adoption is right for you, I’d love to speak with you.

ABBA Adoption: 501-776-2566


Published by

Kandi Barnhill-Cox

Kandi is married to Chris. They have seven children, with four through adoption, which all have various special needs. Kandi has a heart for helping other women choose life for their babies. She has worked in the pro-life arena for since 1996 where she began to help women who were dealing with the devastation of abortion. She was a co-founder of an Abortion Support Ministry that took the steps to become a Pregnancy Care Center. In 2002, Kandi went to work full-time in the adoption field. In 2004, Kandi knew the Lord was calling her to begin the steps of opening a Christ-centered adoption agency.

Throughout her time in the pro-life movement, Kandi has helped women from all walks of life in their decision to parent a child or to make an adoption life plan. She has been instrumental in helping women that are post-abortive in taking them through the process of finding healing so that they may live more productive lives. Kandi counts it a blessing to have the opportunity to pour into women’s lives as they journey through the path of adoption, helping them make a life plan for their child and see hope restored in those women’s lives.

Kandi has helped hundreds of families pray earnestly and walk through the adoption process. She knows that she is just a vessel for God to use. It is her love of family, children and her faith that drives her passion to see women find their worth in Christ, that abortion is abolished, a child’s life is saved and that families are prayed for as they journey down this process of adoption

If you would like Kandi to speak at your event e-mail her at:

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