A Birth Mother’s Story

I’ll never forget the day I met her.  I received an urgent call into my office.  She had been at one of the local pregnancy resource centers and they had called me with a desperate plea to meet with her.  On the surface, her story wasn’t much different than what we see with women in unplanned pregnancies and crisis situations.  She was pregnant, alone, confused, troubled, depressed, hungry, lonely, had a lot of anxiety, and contemplating what she was going to do about her pregnancy.  She was a hot mess!  And I just wanted to love on her!  I was very happy to learn that she and I had an immediate connection……our love for a good latte’!   In my mind, much of life’s bonding can take place over a good cup of coffee and the distress of life can be handled over a dose of knee time before a loving caring Father.  My job was to simply listen to her, hear her and pray for her.  Why was she was considering abortion?  Why was life as she knew it in such a mess?  Hear her cry for how lonely she was!  Listen intently as to why she saw no light at the end of her tunnel! And……PRAY!  Pray without ceasing as she unleashed her filthy laundry basket of life!

How often do we miss what is really right before our eyes because we don’t listen, we don’t hear, we don’t pray with intention?!  I know I am very guilty of it!  Sometimes we get into the habit of just checking off our list and moving on to the next thing.  Even in ministry we can be anxious to complete our task and feel a sense of accomplishment without realizing we missed God in a big way.  I am so thankful that the Lord had my spirit quietened on this day.  I’m so thankful that on this day, this lady had my undivided attention and as I was listening and hearing and praying, God was at work!  On this day I celebrated as I sat and cried with this broken, lost, scared, and frightened lady as she came to the conclusion to choose life for her child!  She chose adoption!  You could see the relief that overcame within her as she now had a plan and someone to walk along with her!

What I didn’t fully understand up until that moment was she had a plan…..a dark secret……an end to her despair!  She wanted to give up on life, not just the baby’s, hers also!  But now she saw hope!  Now she had peace!  A hope and peace that only comes from God!

All of life’s answers didn’t come complete over that one (or two) cups(s) of coffee that day, but it was the beginning of a painfully beautiful journey that this birth mother would begin to conquer.  It was a day that a wonderful friendship ignited.  There were many valleys along the way that she struggled with, yet there were many celebrations and milestones of life!  I will never forget the day she had her sweet baby girl and placed her into the arms of her forever family and we all celebrated two lives that were saved that day.

This sweet friend of mine continued in her journey of hard times and many celebrations.  She has been able to pour into other women with similar struggles.  The Lord gave her to me as a special friend!  A friendship I deeply cherish.  I can’t think of her or see her without thanking the Lord for His grace in her life and allowing me on that special day to be available to LISTEN, HEAR AND PRAY!Saving One Life

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Kandi Barnhill-Cox

Kandi is married to Chris. They have seven children, with four through adoption, which all have various special needs. Kandi has a heart for helping other women choose life for their babies. She has worked in the pro-life arena for since 1996 where she began to help women who were dealing with the devastation of abortion. She was a co-founder of an Abortion Support Ministry that took the steps to become a Pregnancy Care Center. In 2002, Kandi went to work full-time in the adoption field. In 2004, Kandi knew the Lord was calling her to begin the steps of opening a Christ-centered adoption agency.

Throughout her time in the pro-life movement, Kandi has helped women from all walks of life in their decision to parent a child or to make an adoption life plan. She has been instrumental in helping women that are post-abortive in taking them through the process of finding healing so that they may live more productive lives. Kandi counts it a blessing to have the opportunity to pour into women’s lives as they journey through the path of adoption, helping them make a life plan for their child and see hope restored in those women’s lives.

Kandi has helped hundreds of families pray earnestly and walk through the adoption process. She knows that she is just a vessel for God to use. It is her love of family, children and her faith that drives her passion to see women find their worth in Christ, that abortion is abolished, a child’s life is saved and that families are prayed for as they journey down this process of adoption

If you would like Kandi to speak at your event e-mail her at:

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